24hrFFC 07: These Aren’t My Breasts!

Posted: 15 March 2013 in 24hrFFC, fast fiction, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , ,

Title: These Aren’t My Breasts!
Word: tureen
Challenger: Caitlin Moran
Length: 200 words exactly

“These aren’t my breasts!” the young man cried
As he strode across the floor.
“They’re strange and pale and much too big
They’re not what I paid for.”

The delivery man, to whom he spoke
Looked tolerantly back at him
And slowly considered his answer
Making plain it was not from whim.

Then he patiently showed him the order
And the younger man’s name at the end
And prepared to leave his product there
As he’d always meant to intend.

But the younger man was having none of this
Raising his voice to try to impress
To show the driver who was boss
At The Time Of The Magnificent Breasts

The breasts themselves did nothing much
As the wind duly threatened their fall
From back of the lorry, some way off the ground
Tureen like breasts, some thirty feet tall.

“Almost thirty feet tall!” the man shouted again
In shock and some disbelief
As the driver unloaded the breasts to the ground
And made himself ready to leave.

In his mirror he saw the breasts’ paperwork,
The younger man staring it at it.
And the driver knew once again with some pleasure
There’s more than one kind of huge tit.

© Lee Barnett, 2013

This is the seventh story in The Twenty-Four Hour Fast Fiction Challenge. There will be seventeen others… Sponsor me to complete them!

  1. […] 07 Title: These Aren’t My Breasts! word: tureen Challenger: Caitlin […]

  2. […] I wrote in verse was for Caitlin Moran, and that wasn’t intended as a story in rhyme until, as I said, I read it out. That wasn’t the case with this tale – I knew the moment I saw it how I […]

  3. […] Mitch were looking at the titles, laughing away. And although Caitlin Moran’s title “These Aren’t My Breasts!” was without doubt their favourite title, Robert Llewellyn’s was the one that had them […]

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