24hrFFC 14: The Green House’s Greenhouse

Posted: 16 March 2013 in 24hrFFC, fast fiction, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , ,

Title: The Green House’s Greenhouse
Word: custard
Challenger: Dave Gorman
Length: 200 words exactly

Whenever the Manor held a party
Whenever The Set would appear
Someone was sure to be murdered
That’s just how things happened round here.

Last summer the butler was throttled
The previous spring, ’twas the maid.
And the footman and chauffeur have never been seen
Since that August the new driveway was laid.

Last weekend was Miss Martha’s coming out
All her friends and acquaintances came
Of course, there was blackmail, conspiracy and death
Without them, it’s just not the same.

The gardener vanished late Sunday night
Just as Winter was turning to Spring
Buried in the greenhouse at midnight I hear
Busman’s funeral, that sort of thing,

Detective arrested the cook of all people!
Then the chef, the housemaid, and the rest
Then the whole of the staff, and the family as well
And fifty per cent of the guests.

The murder weapon was custard it seems
his head was crushed quite quite flat
Well, being hit thirty-eight separate times
With tinned custard will often do that.

Eventually of course, we all were released
And the police sent us back to the Hall
Until the next murder, I think it’s next May
Or next June, well maybe next Fall.

© Lee Barnett, 2013

This is the fourteenth story in The Twenty-Four Hour Fast Fiction Challenge. There will be ten more stories… Sponsor me to complete them!

  1. […] 14 Title: The Green House’s Greenhouse word: custard Challenger: Dave […]

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