24hrFFC 23: I’m Going Off Line

Posted: 16 March 2013 in 24hrFFC, fast fiction, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , ,

Title: I’m Going Off Line
Word: narcissism
Challenger: Robert Llewellyn
Length: 200 words exactly

After spending years in the wilderness of scientific outlands, entirely sure our planet was speaking to us if we could but only translate the messages, it was something of a shock to receive an email from The Earth.

Of course, I was initially convinced it was a hoax – who wouldn’t be? But when I checked the incoming headers, they… didn’t exist. Nor did the domain from which the email purportedly came.

And yet the email arrived. As did a follow up when I deleted the first one.

A simple message: The Earth was shutting down and it was giving me fair warning, suggesting I tell others. It did this only, of course, after correcting my main thesis and suggesting that my attempts to raise public awareness owed more to narcissism than genuine scientific enquiry and sharing. Well, obviously, that played no part whatsoever in my suggestion that it would be necessary to meet The Earth should it genuinely wish me to believe its story.

At this point, The Earth told me to fuck off.

So I started digging my garden up in order to communicate further.

Yes, at midnight. Yes, with a mechanical digger.

Why do you ask, Constable?

© Lee Barnett, 2013


This is the twenty-third story in The Twenty-Four Hour Fast Fiction Challenge. There will be one more story, just one. Just. One. More. Story. Sponsor me to complete them!

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