Twelve Days of Fast Fiction, Day 06: OF TINSEL AND FIRE

Posted: 18 December 2014 in 12DaysFF, Christmas, fast fiction, fiction, writing
Tags: , , ,

David Baddiel is a clever funny comedian who’s a funny clever writer. I first came across him in The Mary Whitehouse Experience and have followed his career with increasing interest ever since. Whether it’s as a novelist, a playwright, screenplay writer, columnist or stand up comedian, his words always make me think, which I love. He’s also in the forefront of the campaign trying to rid football of the unfortunate but not uncommon anti-semitism in the game. I like him a lot for the comedy and admire him even more for the campaign. I’ve not met him yet but hopefully we’ll meet at some point, so I can say all of this to him in person and embarrass both of us.

Few people know that David Baddiel spent his gap year attempting to desalinate the North Atlantic.

Title: Of Tinsel and Fire
Word: sedated
Challenger: David Baddiel
Length: 200 words exactly

He was asleep, covered with tinsel, sprawled on a large sofa, when the large figure entered the room. It moved with far more grace than one might have expected given its size, but the effort to remain quiet was unnecessary; soft snoring combined with the crackle of the small log fire to produce an odd but not unpleasant sound. The figure crept to the sleeping man, and considered him for a moment. The man shifted in his sleep, and the figure froze; it would do no good to be discovered, but no. The man was tired, the figure knew, and would sleep on as if sedated; it had been a long few days. The figure noticed the half-read book splayed open on the man’s stomach. Last year’s present, the figure knew, and was pleased that the man had at last started the book.

The figure reached over its shoulder and pulled out a small box, gaudily wrapped. It laid the gift quietly at the man’s side, and silently left the room, smiling.

Santa continued to sleep his longest night, but would soon enough wake to discover his own christmas present, and once again wonder with amused puzzlement just who…?

© Lee Barnett, 2014

This story is part of The Twelve Days of Fast Fiction (More information on the Twelve Days here)
Day 01: This Lion Of Winter – challenger: Antony Johnston
Day 02: An Immense Pecuniary Mangle – challenger: Steven Shaviro
Day 03: Is The Pope Pregnant? – challenger: Matt Brooker
Day 04: Father Christmas Got Stuck – challenger: Bevis Musson
Day 05: Early Sunday Chop Suey – challenger: Michael Moran
Day 07: The Man Who Could – challenger: Joanne Harris
Day 08: The Judge Disagreed – challenger: Rufus Hound
Day 09: Sweeping Up Shattered Chandeliers – challenger: Kirsty Newton
Day 10: Glorious Concatenation – challenger: Neil Gaiman
Day 11: Weaving With Angels’ Hair – challenger: Nick Doody
Day 12: Their Eyes All Aglow – challenger: Mitch Benn

“There are two hundred stories collected in this volume. They are funny, they are thoughtful, they are romantic, they are frightening. To me, though, they are more than entertaining. They are inspiring.” – Wil Wheaton, from his introduction to volume 2 of The Fast Fiction Challenge

Two volumes of The Fast Fiction Challenge, containing 180 stories in Volume 1 and a further 200 stories in Volume 2, for £3.00 each, are available in ebook format from the author; email for details.

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