2020 plus 05: Anniversaries

Posted: 5 January 2020 in 2020 plus

I’m coming up on a couple of anniversaries, one of twenty-two years, one of three years.

As long time readers will know, my brother died in January 1998, and I’ll put something up on the 9th, the day of his death. I made a decision two years ago not to mourn on the day; twenty years of locking myself away from everyone and reliving it was.… ‘enough’; from then on I celebrate his life whenever I think of him; whenever I think of him.

And that includes the anniversary of the day he died.

So, while acknowledging the day as I always do, I’ll write something about him, not just about his death.

There’s another anniversary I’m approaching, though, in about four weeks. And I’m writing this now because I genuinely have no idea whether I’ll still be writing the blog come February.

I mean, I never expected to still be posting something every day when I approached the end of ’55 minus’. So no idea right now whether I’ll still be – after seven months of daily blogging – posting, or whether I’ll take a break, and if I do so, whether it’ll be a short break, or a longer one.

(As mentioned before, I took a short break after the 75 day countdown to 2017… and that break ended up lasting two and a half years. So, y’know…

But yeah, that second anniversary; I moved into the flat in February 2017.. After just over four years living in Ham, in Richmond, come 1st February, I’ll have been at the flat three years. Which is astounding to me.

And, now, I can already hear my son, among others, expressing puzzlement and frustration: How can it be astounding to you? You know how the calendar works.…

To which I respond: Yes, yes, of course I do, and that’s not what I mean, and you know it. So, shhh.

In February 2017, I moved into my current place, in Abbey Road, about 1/4 mile from Abbey Road Studios.

There’s lots to get used to, when you live close to a place tourists want to visit. I mean, sure, every place I’ve lived, there have been been oddities and weird quirks. Maybe I was foolish though in not expecting to find tourists asking me for directions every third day as I leave my flat. Maybe I was silly, not fully anticipating traffic being held up as other tourists pose on that bloody crossing…

Thing is, you’d expect that both of those would get exhausting, and tiring, and irritating. Infuriating, even, as the months and years pass.

And yes, the being held up while just one more group rushes to pose, with faux-sincere apologies to the traffic being held up, is annoying, I wont deny.

But the ‘asking for directions’ thing? Not in the least. After three years, it’s still cute, and sweet, and genuinely not the slightest problem for me.

I’ve been waiting for it to stop being delightful, and it’s just not happened. Their enthusiasm, their ‘we made it half way around the world, but we can’t find something 300m away’?

Yeah, being totally honest and genuine: that’s never anything but… nice.

And their obvious and heartfelt gratitude is equally lovely to experience.

A while back, the Studios stuck a webcam outside the building. So if you do visit, you can wait 24 hours, then go to https://www.abbeyroad.com/crossing and see yourself on The Crossing.

A lot’s changed in the world in the past three years. A lot has changed, in some ways, in my own life, in the past three years; far more – especially in my ‘personal life’ – hasn’t, though. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

As a general rule of thumb, however, while I’m a huge advocate of ‘everyone is the sum of their own life experiences’, I’m an equally huge advocate of reviewing those experiences without regretting them. Or at least not brooding on them. Because they’re what made me… me.

Change the experiences, you change the person. And whether or not I like the person I am now, I am that person.

Some might argue that’s a recipe for stagnation, not growth. To which I’d respond: “Yes. And…?”

I view the twenty-two years sine Michael’s death in much the same way. I’ve no doubt that my life would have been different – how different, I have no idea, but different – had Mike not died. But he did.

So, yeah, I’ll mark the anniversaries, but more as a ”huh, another year’s passed’ than for any other reason.

As well as those two very personal anniversaries coming up, there are some more pleasant approaching anniversaries, anniversaries of birth… or birthdays as they’re more commonly known. Two of my closest friends, two of my very favourite people on the planet are celebrating their birthdays in the next couple of weeks.

Now, about them, I can honestly say that my life would be very different indeed, to the point where I can’t imagine what my life would be like had I not met them and become close.

I met them in 2010, but became friends with them both in early 2011. And both are anniversaries I’ll note with genuine pleasure.
Something else, tomorrow.

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