Posts Tagged ‘stuff’


Posted: 20 May 2020 in housekeeping, stuff
Tags: ,

I’ve received a couple of messages asking why I suddenly stopped blogging in April, shortly after briefly restarting, and whether I’m planning on restarting any time soon?

Well, quick answers are

    Because it was becoming a chore


    I wouldn’t call it a plan; more of a hope

In January, I took a couple of months off after six months of daily bloggin. At that time, I fully intended to get back to the daily blogging, but it turned out when I restarted… I wasn’t enjoying doing so at all.

One of the rules I set myself when I restarted in 2019, after a couple of years off was not to check the blog stats, the readership.

Other than under very odd circumstances, when someone promotes an entry or something¹, I never expect a big readership. And the idea of receiving comments on individual entires – which several years ago was entirely expected – now seems to have fallen out of fashion, at least in this place.

Which is fine. But it means that I’m writing primarily for me, not for anyone else. And writing for me…? Well, I don’t need to publish anything on here to achieve that.

So, yeah, when I started again in April… I found that I really didn’t enjoy the experience of blogging and it astonishingly rapidly became a chore, something I did out of an imagined obligation.

So, yeah, I stopped.

And yes, I do intend to return… at some point, or at least I hope to. When I’ve got something to write about that a) I enjoy writing, b) I enjoy publishing, and c) I think other people will enjoy reading.

Until then, I’m slinging something up on goingcheep most days.

I hope all of you and yours are well, and that this nuttiness, this absurdity, in which we find ourselves, is soon over.

¹ Oh, by the way, for some reason I’ve been mystified by, one entry from November – this one – has had more than 10k hits since March… Someone put it up on Pinterest and it’s taken off. Weirdness writ large.

Sorry about skipping yesterday; I really wasn’t in the mood to write anything, let alone a blog.

I’m not wholly convinced I’m in that much less of a bad, melancholy, mood today, but after yet another crap night’s sleep, I kind of feel that if I don’t write something today, the blog will lapse into disuse again. One day off I can allow myself. More than that? No.

Because the past week hasn’t exactly been great for a lot of people, and that includes me.

Oh, that sleep reference? Well, this is what I wrote around 5 am this morning.

As for the rest, well, I can’t say that it suddenly hit me, the full absurdity of nuttiness in which we find ourselves; it’s not been sudden at all. It’s been growing day by day since before the harsh ‘lockdown’, but the last week has been rough.

And I’m one of the luckier ones. I mean, though I know people who’ve got coronavirus, I don’t personally know anyone who’s died. I know people who have lost people, and know of some others, but those who’ve died? No, I didn’t know any of them personally.

As far as I know, anyway.

That’s not going to last.

Six weeks ago, more or less, a friend predicted that in the very near future, we’d all know someone who’d died of this bastard virus.. I can’t honestly say that I decried the idea, nor that I swallowed it unquestionably. But yeah, I was foolish enough to not wholly agree at the time.

Yeah, they were right, I believe.

And given the increases we’re now seeing – a reminder, those who are dying now, picked up the infection before the lockdown started – I suspect that horrible moment is going to come a lot sooner than even they feared.

Another friend of mine said, ages ago, that I’m ‘dangerously’ content in my own company. I’m not sure I’d agree with the adjective, but content in my own company? Oh, definitely. I’ve been very determinedly single for many years, and I haven’t been either the most social or sociable of people for more than a decade. I wish I could blame that on the mental health issues that became apparent almost ten years ago. I really wish I could do that, but it’d be cheap and nasty and self-serving to do so.

The truth is that I was never the most social nor sociable of people before that; the problems I had may have exacerbated it, but no more than that.

(Oh, by the way, you wouldn’t believe how pissed off I am whenever I see someone online suggesting that that those who live on their own and aren’t very social are handling it better… because I’m not. At all.)

What I have had over the past few years, though, to help me in my mostly solitary life, are a set of ‘safety nets’ .

One of them was grabbing coffee and having a regular catchup with my ex-wife, my lad’s mother. Laura’s lovely, and as I wrote at the end of last year:

Laura’s one of my favourite people on the planet. As well as being Phil’s mum, she’s been a part of my life for coming up on thirty years. We catch up for coffee every week or so, and if for some reason we can’t, there feels something fundamentally wrong with the world.

She’s a lovely lady; smart and funny. And I like her enormously. I’m very pleased she entered my life in 1992; that she’s still in it is A Good Thing.

I wouldn’t change a word of that. But who knew that when I wrote it, that the “and if for some reason we can’t, there feels something fundamentally wrong with the world” would come to seem so prescient?

So, yes, Laura’s one of my safety nets.

Another is the Family Benn. I wrote about them as well in that post. But not being able to see them every week, to see Clara and Roger and the kids, to see Mitch… hurts. And I hate it. I truly hate that I can’t see my closest friends, and can’t share laughter and silliness and physical presence, let alone physical contact.

The other ‘safety net’ is one I’ve been well aware of for a very long time: being surrounded by people, usually at a coffee shop, who don’t know me and don’t give a damn about me (and it’s reciprocated in full, I assure you)… but it is being surrounded by… people. It eases the ‘yeah, I’m on my own’ just a bit. and highlights the difference between being on my own… and being lonely.

As I say, I’ve been single for a long time. And usually, mostly, almost exclusively, I like it. Or at least I’m fairly good-naturedly resigned to it. With occasional phases of being very bad-naturedly resigned to it, admittedly.

But never have I loathed it like I have the past couple of weeks. Never have I utterly detested my own company so frequently, so hugely, and so definitely.

Now, I shouldn’t need to say the following, but since every day there’s more evidence to justify the old saw”nothing is ever ‘needless to say’…”, of course I’m following the government guidelines/rules.

I’m only leaving my small flat for exercise (an hour’s walk), to go shopping, and occasionally for medical reasons, to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy or – as I’ll do in about two weeks – to donate blood. And when I return, I’m washing my hands. As I’m doing on a regular basis anyway.

(Not for nothing, but while I have no idea which songs you’re using to mark the ’20 seconds’ you’re supposed to wash your hands to, I’m using the first chorus of of (I’m) Reviewing The Situation from Oliver! That takes a little over 20 seconds.)

Other than that, I’m staying inside, I’m reading, watching tv… and struggling to do either for more than about 20 minutes at a go. I’m writing, a bit.

I’m going out for a walk… when the foot allows, and even sometimes if it doesn’t, knowing that getting out for a walk is – just about – worth the pain the walk will reward me with later that evening. I’m struggling with that balance as well.

“Struggling”. Yeah, that’s the word.

Especially since, yeah, as I mentioned above, I don’t really have anything to complain about… compared to many, many others. Others have people ill in their families, others have friends and relatives who’ve died. Others go into work in the NHS, working in horribly stressful conditions and, while protecting themselves as much as possible, look after patients seriously ill with this bugger of a virus. Others have lost their jobs, their income has collapsed, or they’ve physical problems that make my fucked up foot look in perfect health by comparison.

Me? I’m stuck on my own, and keeping myself to myself… which is what I’ve been doing for the most part for the past few years anyway.

So, yeah, you can add ‘feeling guilty about feeling shit’ to the mix.

I’ve been better.

Before I close this entry: a note of thanks, to everyone who’s currently using their time, either through their work or while they’re staying home, who are… making life better for someone else. Whether it’s singers and artists bringing enjoyment to others, comedians lightening the mood even if just temporarily, or those sharing their lives with others, letting them know they’re not alone, that everyone is finding it tough right now. Thank you. Thank you so much.

And, of course, thank you to everyone in the NHS, from the doctors and nurses on the front line, to receptionists, to those maintaining the equipment, to those managing the organisations… to everyone. Thank you…
Something a bit more cheerful, or at least less melancholy, tomorrow.

OK, after a couple of days of housekeeping, I now find myself with a blank screen.

And after writing, and deleting, three different posts for today, with each of which I ran out of words after about 100 of the damn things, let’s hope that this one at least gets written.

I’d intended to write something personal about how I’m dealing with the lockdown. I really did. But everything I wrote seemed, on review, to be a little more ‘personal’ than I’m comfortable being. I mean, sure, there’ll be something on that – spoiler: I’m not doing brilliantly right now, I’ll acknowledge – but I’m apparently not quite ready to write that post.

Instead, you get something about London In Lockdown, or rather: my London In Lockdown. I suspect you’ll get more in future instalments but you get something today about what’s changed.

For example: busses. Now yes I know that we should all avoid taking public transport unless absolutely necessary. I do know that. And, for the most part, when I’m just going for a walk, I do.

I took the opportunity the first few days to find three different routes to walk, all of which have the two things necessary for me to enjoy a walk: no even slightly steep inclines either direction, and some pleasant scenery along the way. So, I don’t get bored either with the route or the scenery.

But yeah, busses. Because sometimes I need to take busses. The combination of a fucked up foot (a purely technically medical description, you understand, about more of which in a second) and where I live means that although there are a couple of shops within easy walking distance and a decent size Sainsbury’s within… an ‘ok’ walking distance, if I want to go to A Big Supermarket, then it’s a bus. And to be honest, the past week or so, even if I want to go to the decent size Sainsbury’s, it’s a bus.

Why? Well, for whatever reason, my foot has been bad the past week, seriously bad. Whether that’s because it’s actually playing up more than usual, or possibly after years of putting it off, something serious is going on inside the thing at the end of my left leg… or whether it’s psychosomatic, or I’ve just stressed it more than usual with the hour’s walking…. or whether it’s a combination of all of the foregoing… I have no idea.

But it hurts like hell at the moment.

I’m usually very grateful anyway to whoever the hell it was who first had the idea of combining codeine in a decent amount with paracetamol and gave me the wonderful ‘take the edge of the pain’ medication known as cocodamol. OK, I’m also very grateful to the doctors I’ve had over the years who’ve checked me out, seen the MRI and then gone “yep, repeat prescription”. But I’m particularly grateful to both the past week.

As a result of their efforts, I can at least go for my government allowed hour of exercise outside the flat every day. OK, I say ‘exercise’; what I mean is that hour’s walk in what passes for fresh air in London.

The foot + cocodamol combination has meant that I can, for the most part, go out and have a wander for an hour, and then there are the busses for the other occasions.

I’ve noticed several things about taking a bus now that didn’t apply before ‘all of this’.

(As a side note, I wonder when this global crisis will get a proper ‘name’. Whether it’ll be described as “the Event” or “The Incident”… you know, as such things are always described in sf comics, novels, tv shows and movies.)

Sorry, back to the busses.

I’m not sure when ‘oh, most of the other passengers wearing a face mask’ became what I expected to see, instead of merely unsurprising, let alone the anomaly.

I’m equally unsure when seeing people sitting together was the exception rather than the rule; it’s as usual now as it is for children of any age to be well behaved. I can’t remember the last time I saw a child even boisterous, let alone misbehaving, on the bus.

Similarly, almost every time someone gets off the bus, there’s a ‘thank you’ or ‘thank you, driver’, called out. Again, the rarity is someone not saying it rather than it being said.

Finally… many busses have taped off the seats nearest to the exit doors. I’m not wholly sure of the reasons for that one, but I’d imagine it’s to do with reducing the chance of anyone standing by the doors coming anywhere near anyone sitting in these seats.

So, yeah, taking a bus these days is a very different experience to before all this kicked off. (Mind you, I could do without the dirty looks from anyone in the street when I exit the bus.)
Apologies to all, kind of. This blog entry has been a bit of a mess. It’ll get better.

See you tomorrow…

55 plus 51: Odds and sods

Posted: 7 October 2019 in 55 plus
Tags: ,

Housekeeping: we’re now approaching the ‘time limit’ I set for myself to keep the ’55 minus/plus’ going, ’55 plus 55′. I’m genuinely unsure whether to drop it, and a bit scared – I’ll admit – that if I don’t have a daily countdown/up to use, I’ll skip a few days, and a few days more and then a few days more.

I don’t know what the answer is, but it does seem a bit silly to continue the numbering after 55 plus 55.

I don’t know. I’ll have a ponder.

Anyway, hello.

Not a long entry today, but an entry nonetheless. A mixture of odds and sods stuff. Something about London, something about the time of year, and something about the time of year. Yes, the repetition is deliberate.

I mentioned when I was in Edinburgh that I had a few favourite places at which to drink coffee. Whether it’s because I’m used to London, and I’ve had coffee at some many places, I don’t know, but I don’t really have a favourite place in London. At least not to drink coffee.

I have favourite places, but they tend not to be related to the consumption of coffee. And, let’s leave ‘friends’ homes’ out of it as well; it’d be unfair to them.

But here are three places I like in London, just for the hell of it.

Richmond Town Centre: Not a huge surprise, given that I lived there for so long, but yeah, I like Richmond as a place. Nice shops, it never seems too busy, and it has Richmond Green just off to one side of it. And I do like Richmond Green. Perfect place in the summer to spend some hours listening to music, or a podcast, laying on the grass, letting the world go by for a while. And, a nice place to write, surrounded by families enjoying themselves, children laughing, and just for s short while, you can forget the troubles of the world.

(I’d say Richmond Park is also ideal for letting the world go by, but you do tend to interrupted by deer every so often. Yes, honestly.)

Outside summer, the green and the park are less… inviting, I’ll be honest. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like autumn or winter, both places are distinctly less nice during the season. Colourful, sure. As nice? No.

OK, maybe a town centre is too big a thing to truly like.

How about a street? Regent Street, say, in Central London. The office of one of. my first jobs in London was in Regent Street and I kind of liked the street stratigraphy from the start. Not so much for the street itself but everything that was two minutes’ walk from it. I mean, ok, you have decent shops in Regent Street, yes. But most of them are far too expensive for me, or for my tastes, anyway. I’m quite happy with a nice warm overcoat; I don’t need one that costs £500. But at one end, you have the BBC, at the other Piccadilly Circus. Off to one side, you have Carnaby Street – not the fashion centre it once was, but still fun to wander through; off to the other, you have… wel, not mush. Some nice squares. You also have Oxford Street cutting across it with no embarrassment whatsoever. And you have Hamleys, half way down. Again, not the icon it once was, not even the icon of Regent Street (I suspect that’s the Apple Store, these days). And five minutes from Oxford Circus Tube, you have the third of my favourites… and after a town centre and a street, let’s take it smaller, much smaller, a room in fact.

The Phoenix Public House. Well, to be precise, downstairs at the Phoenix, where you have a comedy club cum dance area. Now, fair enough, it’s rare that it’s both at the same time, and with my views on my dancing, you can be forgiven for immediately knowing it’s the comedy that attracts me.

Once a month, first Tuesday of every month usually, The Distraction Club takes place there. And you know – or should know – how much I love that evening. Three hours, or near about, of musical comedy, however you wish – or the comedians wish – to define that. And every Monday, well nearly every Monday anyway, you have Old Rope, an evening when comedians old and new, famous and just starting out, try out new material. Dirt cheap prices, and you’ll get a load of comedy you will enjoy. Some you won’t, but that’s cool, that’s what the evening’s for. And especially when it’s helmed by Tiff Stevenson, you’re in for a fun evening.

It’s October, which means it’s chilly, and rainy, and the kids have gone back to school, and everyone is just waiting for the end of the month, and then the end of November, so they can start enjoying the Christmas season. That’s the rules,: no christmas celebrations before 1st December, nothing but Christmas celebrations after 1st December.

But yeah, it’s chilly, and rainy.

Have some pictures.





Oh, sometimes, though, if you’re lucky, you get a lovely bit of weather…



It’s also the time of year – see, I told you the repetition was deliberate – when it’s Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the Jewish New Year and Day of Atonement.

It’s been a while since I’ve regularly celebrated and/or observed either, and indeed, regularly celebrated or observed any Jewish traditions other than yahrzeit for my late brother and father.

I’m not entirely sure why. And I’m not entirely sure I want to know why.

But then again, given that I’m genuinely interested in knowing why I do stuff, and why I don’t do stuff, you’d kind of think that I’d want to know.

Maybe a longer post on this is required. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe.
The usual Tuesday tomorrow. And, hopefully, something more entertaining.

I’ve not subjected the readers of this blog to one of these yet in the couple of years I’ve been writing here but you know what? Time to answer some general questions…

100 questions, 100 answers
1. Full Name: Lee Barnett. No middle name, despite some people thinking that “Budgie” really is my middle name.

2. Were you named after anyone? Yes, for my mum’s maternal grandmother, Leah. In Judaism, you tend to name after those who have died. If we’d have had another child, I’d have named them after Michael. As it was, my younger brother’s oldest is named after him.

3. Where did your nickname/handle come from? It’s a constant surprise to me that people who’ve known me for more than a month don’t know the story. A friend named Dave Rothburn came up with ‘budgie’, at Manchester Poly, coming up on 29 years ago. Full story’s here.

4. Do you wish on stars? No, never have; and never really understood it at all. I’m not superstitious at all.

5. When did you last cry? A few days ago. I had a mini-meltdown and at one point cried from pure and utter frustration.

6. Do you like your handwriting? Heh. No. ‘Bestest’ handwriting (i.e. when I’m handwriting something at work) isn’t that bad, but my normal scrawl is horrible.

7. What is your birth date? 17th August 1964. Yes, that means I’m officially “old”, well at least almost certainly older than you. Not necessarily, but I’d say the odds heavily favour it.

8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Leaving aside the ones brought for me deliberately as a gag? Probably Best of Chris De Burgh.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Highly unlikely. To be fair, I think I’d probably be hugely surprised (both good and bad) if I knew how people honestly thought of me, let alone what I’d think of me – I suspect there’d be bits of me I’d like, and bits I’d be bored by, and certainly bits I’d detest.

10. Are you a daredevil? In no way whatsoever. I rarely take risks, and if I do, I’ve analysed them to the nth degree.

11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes, but only back in the days when I was a financial director, when ethically, I had no choice in the matter, and (b) I chose to break a confidence in order to correct a seriously wrong (and potentially dangerous) impression person A had of person B.

12. Do looks matter? No… in the kingdom of the blind. In any other sphere, of course they do! I can’t understand anyone who thinks that looks don’t matter. I know that some disagree with this, but I think looks are what gets you interested in someone you don’t know… and everything other than looks keeps you interested.

13. How do you release anger? As a general rule, I don’t. Through ‘writing it out’… or ‘bunkering down’ for a while have both been known.

14. Where is your second home? Don’t have one, though Laura’s would probably come closest.

15. Do you trust others easily? No. I usually find it incredibly hard to trust people. There are (and have been) exceptions, of course, but it takes me an incredibly long time to trust most people.

16. What was your favourite toy as a child? Lego. No question. I had other toys and games, but it always came back to Lego.

17. What class in school do think is totally useless? Geography. Never saw the bloody point of the subject. And I can’t think of a single thing I learned in the subject that’s been any use whatsoever in my life post-school.

18. Do you keep a handwritten journal? No, I have a notebook in which I scribble down thoughts and ideas, but it’s not a diary or journal.

19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? A lot? No. Sometimes, yeah, when I think it’s necessary… or occasionally funny.

20. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Heh. No. Not my thing.

21. Favourite movie? Couldn’t narrow it down to just one, really.

25. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Yeah, usually.

26. What’s your favourite ice cream? Carte D’Or Banana. That they no longer make it is irrelevant. The best ice cream I’ve ever had, however, was melon flavour. Only had it once, in Israel in 1980, but the memory lasts…

27. What’s your shoe size? 10. My foot size varies, it feels like anyway, depending upon how bad the pain is.

28. What are your favourite colours? Black and red. Look I had to give two, so I added red.

29. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? See the answer to question 21 above.

30. Who do you miss most? Michael, my late brother… more recently, for various reason.

32. Are you patriotic? Not really, no. I don’t feel any pride about being British, nor any specific link to Britain in general.

33. What are you listening to right now? Well, I’m watching BBC1, this week’s Have I Got News For You?

34. When was the last time you ate chocolate? This afternoon.

35. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Don’t have a bloody clue, and suspect I wouldn’t care less about it..

36. What is the weather like right now? Cold, very cold.

37. Last person you talked to on phone? No idea, it was a wrong number.

38. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Depends on how far away they are. If they’re close, eyes. But in general, their face.

40. How are you today? Next question…

41. Favourite non-alcoholic drink? Dr Brown’s Cream Soda. And it’s a crying shame that you can’t get it in the UK. In that absence, I’ll go with coffee.

42. Favourite sport? To watch? These days? Don’t have one. I’m not a sports person.

43. Your hair colour? Grey, more white than dark.

44. Eye colour? Brown.

45. Do you wear contacts? Yeah, for most of the the week. I usually end up giving my contacts a couple of days a week off. And occasionally, I’ll give them more than that; I still remember with amusement turning up for a drinkup wearing glasses and at least one friend being rather surprised, because they’d never seen me wearing them.

46. Favourite month? November, no question.

47. Favourite food? Don’t really have one. I’m incredibly fussy about food, but if I like it, then I like it as much or as little as anything else I eat. I’m really not a food person. At all.

48. Last movie you watched? In a cinema? No idea. Can’t remember the last time I went to the cinema.

49. Favourite day of the year? 2nd November, my son’s birthday.

50. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, every time. I don’t enjoy scary movies, generally at least. I have enjoyed the occasional one. I still think the original The Omen is one of the best movies for so many reasons, but I’d prefer a happy ending most times. The question’s unfair though – nothing says you can’t have a scary movie with a happy ending, is there?

51. Summer or winter? I always used to prefer Summer, but I’m unsure these days…

52. Hugs or kisses? Depends on the person I’m with… or want to be with.

53. Do you smoke? Yes.

54. What is your favourite dessert? Apple pie with ice cream. I’ll have the latter without the former, but never vice versa.

57. Living arrangements? I’m lucky enough to live with close friends.

58. What are you currently reading? Prose – rereading Terra by Mitch Benn; comics – Young Avenger by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie.

59. Do you have any kids or do you want to have kids? Yes, one eighteen year old son, the Phil mentioned above. I don’t want any more; very happy with the one I have, thanks.

60. What ‘s the first thing that the opposite sex notice about you? No idea, but I’d guess the greying hair.

61. What’s on your mouse pad? I don’t use one.

62. Favourite games? I don’t play computer games, and don’t really have a favourite game on the iPhone or iPad, so let’s just play safe and say backgammon. Probably.

63. What did you watch on tv last night? Lots, but I’m a news junkie so always safe to say “news”.

64. Favourite smells? Citrus, leather, freshly mown grass and freshly baked bread.

65. What is the first thing you think when you wake up? “Damn.”

66. How tall are you? Six feet exactly

67. Have you ever fired a gun? No. Strangely enough, I don’t feel as if I’ve missed out any. I’m mildly curious as to what it would be like to shoot one, and to see the effect of me pulling the trigger, but only mildly curious.

68. Ever been in rehab? No.

69. Have you ever killed an animal? Other than insects, spiders, wasps, etc. No. And wasps deserve it, the little buggers. In fact I think that great effort should be made by various people to make animal experimentation compulsory for wasps.

70. What do you think of hot dogs? The owners should be prosecuted for leaving them in the car.

71. What’s your favourite Christmas song? Fairy Tale of New York. I don’t care that it’s become a cliché for people to say it; I fell in love with that song the first time I heard it.

72. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee. Or Tea.

73. Do you do push ups? No, but I probably should.

74. Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes, many times. Most recently was a year or so back.

75. Do you like painkillers? When I need them, I take them like sweets.

76. What’s your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Haven’t got one. If there is one, please tell me.

77. Do you own a knife? Yes, two Swiss Army knives.

78. Do you have A.D.D.? No.

79. Have you any tattoos? No.

80. Have you any piercings? No. (gosh that was an easy set of three to answer.)

81. Name three drinks you regularly drink: water, coffee and tea.

82. What’s the last song you played on your CD Player/iPod Paint It Black, Rolling Stones

83. What’s under your bed? Nothing but carpet.

84. What time did you wake up today? 9:00 am, but I didn’t get to sleep until 7:30 am.

pic85. Current haircut? See pic.

86. Current worry? See answer to 21 above.

87. If you could play any musical instrument? Mouth Organ. Usually popular, and no one ever asks you to sing!

88. What was your first paid employment? Other than working for my father in the hair salon? Supermarket (Sainsbury’s) shelf stacking and on the checkout.

89. What was the last CD you bought? Again, I can’t remember the last time I bought a CD.

90. Do you have a motor vehicle (car, bike)? Yes, a Ford Fiesta Style+.

91. Who’s the one person from your past you wish you could speak with one more time? No surprise there, my late brother.

92. Where do you want to live? Quite happy in London, thanks.

93. Number of pillows you sleep with? Two on each side of the double bed.

94. Are you paranoid? Why do you want to know? Why? Why? Huh? Huh?

95. Latest crush? Next question…

96. Last thing you ate? Couple of bagels.

97. What’s in your pockets right now? money, cigarettes, iPhone.

98. What colour are your bedroom walls? White.

99. Have you ever won any awards: None since school.

100. Who do you tell your dreams to? I rarely remember them anyway, and those that do, I really wish I didn’t.